More than often do I hear these two phrases at the beginning of my sentences: “I’m not” and “I can’t.”
I say things like- “I’m not smart enough” or “I can’t finish that.” I’ve discovered that those phrases really impact my life. Whether it’s my social, love or work life, it changes who I am and can be. I tend to put myself down when I can’t figure something out, I just tell myself that it’s because I AM NOT capable of doing it. Or when someone shows me love, I start to say “That can’t be, I AM NOT worthy.”
Phrases like that start to pile negativity into our lives and we start to believe that we are not enough or capable of anything. We create a negative mindset that will begin to prevent us from succeeding in any aspect of our lives. We don’t notice it because we constantly bash ourselves with negative words that it eventually becomes the normal.
I have heard it said that if you tell a lie often enough, loudly enough, and long enough, the myth will become accepted as a fact. -The Total Money Makeover Pg. 16, Dave Ramsey
At the beginning it won’t affect us, but in the future it will. People see this in you. Bosses notice those who are negative. We set ourselves out for failure. But what can we do to change this? Well I’ve come up with a few things that I believe can change your mindset about who you are and who you can become.
I myself have tried these and have seen a tremendous difference in my life. Not only do I notice it but the people around me as well. Because when you start to change all that is negative in your life, you begin to see everything that is actually good. You start to trust others, you are able to make better connections with people, build a strong career and overall grow as a person. You also start to share happiness with others.
- Focus on changing one thing at a time– for example, if you feel like you’re always running late, then why don’t you focus on that for a whole month. Prepare yourself and set a goal to be on time to every meeting, event, or anything on your schedule for that month. Eventually you will start to make it a habit, and no longer will you have to be late anywhere. Then move on to the next change. But make sure that you stay on top of it, put all your effort into making this work.
- Set Goals– Don’t be afraid to set big goals, but make sure that for every goal, you set steps to get there. If your goal is to lose weight (which has been one of mine), then set steps that will get you there. Be specific about what you want and how you want it.
- Don’t be lazy– being lazy just makes you unproductive. Basically makes you useless. If you want to be able to reach your goals and make changes to your life, then try to wake up earlier (trust me, this is the hardest one for me because I love to sleep). Try to maybe incorporate a workout a day, organize, do things that will keep you from being lazy.
- Don’t Hate- Don’t say you hate things or people. If you don’t like mornings like me, don’t make it a habit to say “I HATE mornings” cause then you start to build that emotion inside of you and you will believe that that’s the truth. Instead, back to step 1, change something about your mornings that can make them a little more enjoyable.
- Begin something new– Doing something new scares everyone. But you will never know what you like unless you try something new or do something that you enjoy a lot. For example, I am not the best artist, but I love to paint and draw. I do it all the time and it just makes me feel more relaxed and more passionate about it every time.
- Change I can’t to I can– make sure that when you’re about to say “I Can’t” or “I’m Not”, that you immediately change it to I can. If you find yourself constantly saying “I am NOT capable of doing that”, then say “I am capable of doing that and this is what it’s going to take”.
- Give thanks– Remember to always thank those around you. Whether it’s something small they did for you or something huge. At the beginning of this year I started a “Thankful” notebook. Every night before I go to sleep, I write down one thing that I am thankful for. It seems like something simple to do but when you have had a rough day or nothing is going your way, it’s a little hard to think of anything you’re thankful for but it makes me really think and I start to realize that I have so much to be thankful for. I also always try to be thankful for something different and there are days when I am thankful for more than other days. But it just gives you a better perspective of everything that you have and should be happy about.
- Don’t worry– Don’t worry about the little things. More often than we want to, we worry about things that shouldn’t even matter. Don’t worry about what people will think of you, or what that person said to you. I can’t remember where I read it, but I have really applied this to my life. It said something like this “will it matter in 5 years?” So every moment that I start to worry about something, I ask myself that question and immediately realize whether it’s important or not.
- Eliminate– this ties with step 8. You should eliminate the things that are holding you back. Whether it’s clutter or people in your life. Let go of those things that are not helping you get where you need to be. Maybe you need to stop being on social media all day. Whatever it is, try and make the change to better yourself. Check out my blog post on decluttering Decluttering your life from “things”
- Help- Always help others. Don’t do things asking “what’s in it for me?”. Do things with your whole heart and help others just because they need the help. This will start to change you inside. Not only will the other person feel good but so will you.
“I’m going to make everything around me beautiful- that will be my life.” -Elsie De Wolfe
Don’t think that your life will change immediately. It will take time, I am still working on everything in my life and more often than not I find myself wondering what I am doing. But I always try to pull those negative thoughts out of my head.
A great difference I have noticed is at work. Every time I would get stuck on something, I would immediately give up. What I do now is, I try everything I can until I know that I can no longer do anything about it. I have noticed a great difference. I feel more accomplished and more successful.
You can try the things I listed above or try and make your own list of things that you want to change. Anything that works for you to make your life more positive. Once you start to be more positive about life, you will start to notice the difference.