Category: Personal

Motivation- 3 Tips to stay motivated when you don’t feel like it

I really wanted to talk about this because it’s something that I believe strikes all of us. I have felt it even at times of greatness and when I am striving. For a while I didn’t feel motivated to work and perform at my best. I was doing the minimum and I was constantly having to be reminded of what I needed to do. Both at work and in my social life. Which for the record, that is not who I am. I am always on top of everything and I like to work hard. I like to be organized and not procrastinate. I wanted to share the three things that helped me gain that motivation back. I am really hoping that if you’re on the same boat that I was, that you’re able to just jump off.

I am going to be sharing three things that helped me.

1.Talk about it

This was the first thing I did. I didn’t realize it was going to make a change but it was what made me snap out of it. I was just casually hanging out with my friends and I just felt the need to let them know that I wasn’t feeling motivated. I was snoozing my alarm which I never do. I was having to be reminded of simple tasks that had to me completed during the day. I just let it all out and told them how I felt. Just as I was talking about it, I felt a sense of relief. Some weight being lifted off my shoulders. Part of it was just having that support and those lovely friends listening. Knowing that I had someone to talk about my problems with.

2. Make a list

When I say make a list, I don’t mean to make a list of 100 things you have to complete. What I recommend, that worked and works for me; just add 2-3 extremely important tasks that have to be completed during the day. Focus on completing those task within the day and start adding minor task as you start crossing out the most critical tasks. DON’T add too much to your list because you will feel overwhelmed and that will cause you to lose concentration and lose the focus.

3. Small Changes

Don’t expect to wake up one morning and be extremely motivated again (it can happen, and you would be very lucky if it did), but if it doesn’t then just focus on one small change a day. Maybe say you will not snooze your alarm that morning. That can be the small change of the day or maybe focus on that through out the week until you make it a habit. Maybe focus on only being on social media for an hour a day, read a page of your book. Whatever it may be, just start small. Eventually you will notice the difference and that difference will motivate you even more.

Tips:

Avoid distractions. Maybe for the majority of the day put your phone away from you. Set your alarm to work one hour and take ten minute breaks in between.

Don’t be too hard on yourself. Life is hard and sometimes you have to remind yourself of who you are and what you are capable of doing. Today I encourage you to decide to make that change and if you can, do it with someone else. Motivate others as you are working on yourself too. We can all grow together.


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5 tips to budget the right way…

I am a big time spender. I love to go shopping and just live life. One of my biggest struggles as an adult has been to learn how to budget my money.

Check out my previous post on how to shop on a budget.

Click Here

I have learned how to manage my money the right and easy way. I am going to share my tips and my struggles when it comes to budgeting. I hope that you are able to implement some of these tips to your budgeting. They are very simple and easy steps that anyone can follow.

1.Start by looking back at your most recent purchases.

When I started budgeting (and even now), I went back two months and took a good look at all my transactions. I made a list of everything and everywhere my money was spent. You will be surprised as to all the unnecessary transactions you make. I noticed that most of my money was going towards food or shopping and I was digging into my savings to cover for those unnecessary expenses.

This will help you see your expenses better.

2. List your expenses

After going through all my expenses from the previous months, I made a list of everything. I put them into categories such as food, bills, gas, savings, etc. I started eliminating all the unnecessary expenses. Such as my Ipsy bag, my Sephora box, Hulu (I kept Netflix). Even though they were small expenses, all together they made a significant impact each month without me realizing it. That’s why it’s so important to take a look at the previous months and add all the expenses and the damage they are actually making.

This gave me the big picture of what were the expenses I had to keep and how much of my money was used on those expenses and I could see how much I had left.

3. Name your money

I learned this one from Dave Ramsey (He is great, but I only agree with some of his suggestions when it comes to budgeting, he can be a little extreme). He says that you have to give every dollar a name. Know exactly where that dollar is going to end up.

To be honest, this is the best thing I have ever done. After step one and two, I then downloaded an app called Balance check. It’s so simple to use and you will keep track of every dollar. You input your income, and then add all your expenses and start checking them off as they’re paid. You can add a list of other things such as entertainment and shopping. With what I had left after paying all my fixed expenses, I added lines for entertainment, shopping, and savings. For example, I would limit myself to only $100 of shopping a month. I would then start subtracting all my shopping on the app and eventually know when I would run out of the $100. Knowing that I no longer had money to shop and I had to wait till the next month.

Find an app that works best for you. You can even use the Notes App and list all your monthly expenses on there. Make sure that you know where all your money is going.

At the end of the month, if you have some left over money, throw it in your savings.

4. Eliminate your credit cards

At the beginning of your budgeting cycle, you will not have money for the fun stuff such as shopping and a lot of entertainment. I say a lot because you shouldn’t live a miserable life. You should still be able to enjoy your life. But the main thing to do is to get rid of those credit cards. If you’re only sending the minimum amount every month, you’ll spend years trying to pay it off.

What you have to do is maybe put less into your savings and more into your credit card payment. What’s the point of having savings if you owe money? You basically don’t have money if that’s the case. Pay off those credit cards, that should be the main focus at this moment.

If there is something you really want and you cant buy it right at the moment because you don’t have the money, DONT use your credit card. Save up for it. Every pay check add $20, $40, $50, what ever you can to a fund you start on your own specifically for that item. Yes, it will take you a while to get there, but you will not be paying interest on it.

But don’t start a “fun Fund” as I like to call it, until you have a $0 balance on your credit cards. Also, always start off by paying the credit card with the smaller balance on it. Keep sending minimum amount to the other credit cards, and a larger amount to the Smaller amount credit card. You will start paying them off and this will motivate you to continue on to the next one. ( I really hope that you don’t have more than two credit cards, but if you do, it’s okay. I know you can do it).

Tip: Don’t carry your credit cards with you if you know you don’t have self control.

5. Keep track

Always keep track. Check your bank account daily. Just to make sure you’re on track. If you mess up one month, it’s okay. You can always start the next month.

Budgeting is not easy at all. It will take some time and a lot of discipline. Trust me, it has taken me months to finally be on track and sometimes I still get out of my lane. But I just start over and work on it again.

Little secret: If you get a raise… Pretend like you didn’t. Keep budgeting as if you are still on the previous wage. That way you can start adding that money into your savings. You will be surprised as too how much money you can actually save up.



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Get off the wishing train…

“I wish I was thinner”

“I wish I had her skin”

“I wish I had that job”

“I wish I had a boyfriend”

“I wish I had more money”

“I wish I could be like her”

Have you heard these Phrases before? Have you said any of them before?

A while back, I found myself starting a lot of my sentences with “I wish…” It felt heavy on my heart every time I would wish for something I didn’t have or wasn’t doing. It started to drain me, and significantly reduced my confidence.

It’s so easy to hop onto the wishing train, as I like to call it and forget all the blessings and talents that you have. I get it! I constantly see the beautiful bloggers on Instagram with what seems the perfect life and it’s very easy to fall into the idea that your life is at the verge of falling apart.

But if you think about it, no one is going to post their struggles. No one is going to post a picture of the times they cry themselves to sleep because they don’t feel happy, no one is going to post a picture of the fights they have with their significant others.

So how can we stop ourselves from running after a wish and shift our direction to a healthy mindset? Well, I will share some of the things that I did and do to shift my life in a more positive way.

1.Learn to love who you are…

The very first thing that you have to do is to learn to love who you are. You have to accept who you are right now, in order to be able to make the change to who you “wish” you could be. If you don’t love yourself now, when you get to the person you want to be, you won’t love yourself then either. You’ll always be chasing after that wish because you’ve never learned to love yourself.

2.Don’t assume change will be easy and fast…

Change doesn’t happen over night. You’re not going to go to sleep and wake up with a career, new home, new body and the perfect life. First of all, there’s no perfect life. Second, getting to where you want to be, will take time. It will take dedication, sacrifice and possibly some tears (maybe a lot of tears). But the whole point is to understand that you will get there. Change will come if you are consistent and really push to be where you want to be.

3.Enjoy the process…

Since change won’t happen right away, you need to learn to enjoy your life as you get there. Enjoy seeing your body transform, or how your career starts to bloom. Whatever it is, just enjoy and grasp onto every piece of knowledge you find along the way.

4. Don’t do it alone…

It’s so easy to try to be a super human, but sometimes you have to relinquish control and allow others to contribute to your growth. Surround yourself with others who want to see you succeed and who give you the advise you need to receive and not just what you want to hear. Grow side by side with those people and help each other achieve goals.

5.Don’t seek the approval of others…

Not everyone is going to want to see you succeed. Not everyone is going to want to see you be the person you’re working hard to become. Therefore, you don’t need the approval of others to be yourself. Don’t seek for people to constantly give you praise. Like on #4, just focus on growing with the people who want to see you grow and outgrow those who don’t.

I challenge you to start today, by just loving something about yourself. Take it day by day, and you will see how much your life starts to transform and how much you stop comparing yourself to others. You’ll start to see how valuable you are!!!!


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The Big Why…

I don’t know about you, but I have asked God “why did this happen?” or “Why am I going through this?”

It’s hard not to question him when a family member has cancer, or a friend passes away, or we constantly fail. All these reasons seem fair to question what God is doing and more specifically “Why”. There are moments when you can even question if God is even there.

A few years ago my mom underwent open heart surgery. We prepared for this months ahead of time. The day came when it was time for the surgery and we were all ready, we knew how long the surgery was going to be, we knew the recovery time after surgery, we knew what could go wrong, but we also knew what could go right.

We all had our trust in God and trusted that he had the surgeons ability to do this in his hands. What we all expected was an 8-10 hour surgery, one week recovery at the hospital and a few months at home. That 8 hour surgery turned into two more surgeries in one month, one month at the hospital, endless days and nights, months of recovery after. All because the outcome we didn’t expect, became the reality.

Yes, there was a point when I didn’t think she was going to make it. And I remember very clearly, one of the few hours I got to go home from the hospital to shower and recharge a little, I sat on my bed and asked God “WHY?”

My faith was so little by then..

At that moment I didn’t understand the why. Even after God healed my mom and she’s been healthy for a few years now, even then the why was still present.

Not directly but indirectly. I still wondered why she had to go through so much, why we had to go through so much. I felt like I never got the answer.

Until recently I was driving to work after a meeting and I was just listening to Music when I heard God say “The process is the why”. I sat in my car wondering what do you mean the process?

Well what God means is that we always have to go through that middle part in order to reach our destination. In order to see his mighty hand, in order to understand his plan.

Just like Abraham had to wait to have a son, just like Moses had to wait to get to the promised land, just like Joseph had to wait and be a slave, just like Jesus had to be sacrificed in order for you and me to be saved.

Just like that, we have to wait. We have to wait for the miracle. Because sometimes the biggest blessing is at the end of that why, because even when your faith is so small, God can work with that.

Love Always,

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Timeline

Where you’re at now is where you need to be.

Since the beginning of our lives, we are placed into a timeline. We are expected to accomplish things at a very specific age.

We are expected to graduate on time, start college right away, get a job, get married before “it’s too late”, have kids right away. What I am trying to say is that we are expected to be at a certain point in our life based on a timeline set by this world.

The thing is— Our plan doesn’t always align with God’s plan. That’s when we feel left behind. We begin to notice those around us moving at a faster speed; achieving goal after goal, finishing college before us, getting engaged, getting married, and we can’t help it but wish we were there already.

But it doesn’t mean that they are ahead of you.

We try to reach the end without going through the process. We rush what needs patience.

Today I want you to think of all that you are instead of all that you’re not, because all that you are now is who you’re supposed to be in this season of your life.

When God gives you authority to move forward, you will become who you’re supposed to be then. Enjoy where God has you right now, because you wont be here for long.

“We plan the way we want to live, but only God makes us able to live it.” -Proverbs 16:9 MSG

“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” -Proverbs 16: 9 NIV

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Before The Pursue…

For the longest time I believed in pursuing. I believed in pursuing your dreams, pursuing the life that you want and even at some point pursuing that boy. How incredibly naïve have I been. Don’t get me wrong, you do need to pursue what you want, but before you do that, there’s a missing part that sometimes we forget. I know I have and still do sometimes.

That small, but very powerful part is PRAYING… We forget to ask God first.

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us” -1 John 5:14

My sister is younger than me, but I have learned something from her. Every time you ask her something or she’s about to do something she will say “I don’t know, let me pray about it”. After so many years, I have just gotten used to it. I already know that will be her answer for almost everything. And I had never thought about it, but then I realized that there’s not any other way to move forward but to rely solely on what that prayer will bring you. What that initial response will give you.

And I know, God doesn’t always answer at the moment you pray, but what I do know is that he answers at the right time.

“Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you”. -Jeremiah 29:12

Before you switch careers, pray. Before you start your day, pray. Before you get into that relationship, pray. Before you move forward, Pray. In the midst of the storm, pray. Because not only does prayer give you answers but it also gives you peace. It gives you peace when taking that leap of faith, when you’re feeling troubled, when ever there’s doubt, his peace will be there.

If you are feeling stuck and don’t know how to move forward, take a moment and tell God… “God, I don’t know where to go from here”. He’s there, he knows your struggle, he’s just waiting on you to ask. He’s waiting on you to put your trust, your life, your past, your present, your future and all that you are in his hands.

God will change your prayer to the right prayer. He will listen and answer those prayers. And my only pursue now, is to be more like him. I think it’s time that we stop pursuing before we start praying…

Love always,

Daisy

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The end can be the beginning…

The end of the year is always so hectic. There is so much to do. You know that by the time November gets here, the year is basically over. I usually start realizing that I didn’t finish half the things I wrote down at the beginning of the year. At this point I start to think that I shouldn’t even try anymore. I should just wait till the beginning of next year to start over. 

I’ll tell you this, this is NOT a good idea. It’s not ideal to just give in and decide to start doing what you said you would till next year. Why? Well because next year, when it’s the end of the year, you will be on the same boat. You’ll have the same excuses and you will delay beginning or finishing something till the beginning of next year. 

The thing is, we all fail. That doesn’t mean that we can stop where we are  and wait till the beginning of next year to start over. The beginning of something, should not be defined by a calendar, it should be defined the day you decide to make a change. 

You can stay right where you are or you can make a change. The option is yours. You can stay complaining about your weight your whole life, or you can do something about (I know I do complain, but I love those tacos). You can complain about your relationship all you want, but if that’s all you do then nothing will ever change. If someone doesn’t want to be with you, it’s okay. Move forward. Isn’t it better to be happy alone, than to try and be happy with someone who doesn’t want you. 

We all fail, I know I do. And I did in many ways this years. I said I was going to read 24 books, I read 12. I fell short, by a lot. Does that mean I should give up reading? Absolutely NOT. 

I said I wasn’t going to allow anyone to hurt me or to use me. Did I Allow it? Yes. Does that mean I will never know my value? No. I just believed in people and they let me down. I can’t go on and not trust people because certain people couldn’t appreciate me. 

The truth is, we set goals and dreams and we don’t consistently act on them. That’s why we fail. But failing only means you can try again, and this time you know what didn’t work last time and you can try it a different way. And if you fail again, then you try again. But you don’t have to wait till the beginning of next week, next month or next year. The beginning of something new starts right here, right now, at this moment. The moment when you say you want to do or change something. That’s the moment you should get up and say, this time around I will do everything I can to make a change. 

I know, it’s so easy to say it rather than do it. But every time you get discouraged, START again. There are no rules to how many times you can fail and how many times you can start over. 

As we are ending the year, let go of what is holding you back or who is holding you back. Write down the things you want to begin right now, so that when January 1st comes around, you are already ahead of where you want to be. Start right now, at the end of the year. Prove to yourself that you can do it, no matter the circumstances. I know that I am happy with what happened this year, but I know that in order to make a change for next year, there are some things that need to begin now! 

Don’t be so hard on yourself. We all make mistakes but we should learn from them too. You can still make this 2018 amazing. Whatever happened to you this year, take is as a learning experience as you finish this year the strongest possible. 

Love Always, 

Daisy

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Walk of Shame

There is a story in the bible called “The parable of the Lost Son.” You can find this story in Luke 15:11-32.

This story is about a father and two sons. The younger one asked his father for his inheritance, but that is not what fascinates me the most about the story. What I find the most attractive is the way the father responds to every request from his son. I have divided the verse into sections to fully describe and understand the fathers side of this story.

The younger one said to his Father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ so he divided his property between them. -Luke 15:12 NIV

In that verse it doesn’t say anything about the father asking the son why he wanted this. It just says that the father divided his property between them. This reminds me of all the times we go to God and ask  him to do something, and without questions he does it. He doesn’t sit there and say “Well Daisy, why would you want me to do that? What makes you think I am going to do that?” I don’t know but I think sometimes God answers those absurd requests to give us a lesson. I can be wrong, but sometimes we need that little shake in our lives to understand that we are asking for the wrong things.

The verse then goes on saying;

Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there he squandered his wealth in wild living. -Luke 15:13

Just like us, he grabbed what was “his” and left to live the life he thought was going to make him happy. We often grab all the blessings that the lord hands us, and just walk away. We walk away from him, we walk away from his love, his support, his care, because now we have what we wanted.  Then just like this son, we go and lose all we have for a moment of satisfaction, for a moment of “living life”, for a moment of party, for a moment of what this world offers. What amazes me the most is that never in the story, does it say that the father tried to stop him. It never mentions that the father questioned him, or asked him where he was going. The father allowed him to walk away and God does the same. We are not captive under him, we have the freedom to make our choices.

A few verses down, after he had LOST everything he had, the bible tells us that the son realized what he had done.

When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ So he got up and went to his father. -Luke 15:17-20

The son finally realized what he had done. He had given away all his blessings to this world. He had taken his father for granted and had lived the life he thought was best for him. He realized that living under his fathers household was better than living alone.

Time after time, we do the same. We go out into the world, full of strength provided by our father, we let his hand go and walk on our own. Until we discover that doing life on our own is not easy. It’s hard and its not rewarding.

In this verse we don’t know what the father was doing but in the next one, we will see the love and patience that this father had for his son.

But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ -Luke15:20-21

I just have to say WOW!! When I read this part of the story I can just imagine this father, day after day, going outside his home just waiting to see if his son was coming back. I can picture him with his hands close to his chest, full of patience and full of love for his son. The verse says that he saw him and he was still a long way off. Then it says that the father ‘threw his arms around him,’ before the son even said a word.

I think that after a few minutes of sobbing and hugging the son was finally able to apologize. However, not once does the father question him. Doesn’t ask him why he left, what he did with all the money, why he was back. The father just took him back and forgave him.

If I was the father, I would have a million questions and I would just make him feel so bad for doing what he did.

But just like that father, God awaits for us with open arms. No questions, just forgiveness and compassion. Without even saying a word, he knows our hearts and forgives us the moment we come back to him. The moment we take that “walk of shame” back to his arms.

Instead of scolding the son and teaching him a lesson and saying “I told you so,” the Father has a celebration. Believe it or not, he celebrated his son coming back.

But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate. -Luke 15:22-24

‘They began to celebrate.’ God celebrates the moment we walk back to him. No matter how many times we fail him, without questioning us, he takes our hearts back. That is the father we are blessed to have. We are blessed to have a father that shows us love, forgiveness and whole lot of patience.

He doesn’t need explanations, he doesn’t need an ‘I am sorry father’, he just needs for us to walk back to him. He is waiting with this abundant love for us, waiting for our return.

I know this story is a very well known story, but I think that most times we focus on the son and how he left and came back; but we don’t focus on the father and what he does. This story continues with the older sons reaction to the celebration. Which in most cases we fall into both categories. We are the son that leaves but we are also the son that stays. The fathers reaction to the older son is not very different, but that will be part of the next blog.

Love Always,

Daisy

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Alone…

Loneliness approaches us even when we are filled with friendships and relationships. It can cause pain that we can’t identify and don’t know where it’s coming from because in reality, physically we are not alone; it’s just our inner self that’s alone, it’s our spirit that is missing something. Even when you’re surrounded by people, you can feel alone.

Sometimes we try to find happiness and wholeness in things that don’t last. We depend on relationships, on people, on work, on busyness, drugs, alcohol, tv, social media, books, anything  to keep us satisfied. Yes, those things fill up our emotional need temporary, but when it runs out we are right where we started.

There are many factors that cause loneliness within our hearts; The lack of connection with someone, social, mental, emotional, shame, sin. We isolate ourselves far away from the light to cover up the pain. We are afraid to let others know that we feel lonely because we fear that they will not understand. We create a boundary between what we are feeling and what is actually true.

But Jesus understands our loneliness. He lived it himself. If we look back at Jesus’ life on earth, he never committed sin. But just like you and me, he lived in this world full of sin, hate and rejection. He went through it all. He not only understands our loneliness; he destroyed it. He went before all of us and poured out his blood for us.

When loneliness attacks our lives, we pray but sometimes it Feels like we’re so far away from God that he can’t hear us. Sometimes words can’t explain what our heart is feeling, but it’s okay because [HE] understands our tears. He understands the pain, and listens as you just cry out to him.

It’s hard to silence that voice that tells you you’re alone. It’s so loud inside our  head that it doesn’t allow us to hear the voice of God. We feel like we are crying out so hard to God and he remains silent. We pray, and have no answers. But his voice is there, his pure and loving touch is there. We just have to fight through the pain, because he is fighting against it with you. We just have to be consistent with our fight.

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. -Deuteronomy 34:6

When I read this verse, I like to replace the word “them” with whatever I am feeling. Giving that verse life to what I am experiencing at the moment. Helping me realize that no matter what my path looks like right now “the Lord My God goes with me.”

There are times when I have to push through layers of pain, to be able to hear him say that I am not Alone…

Simply Daisy

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